Funstuff
Snatched from the now gone Kronos Madness page
Top Ten Reasons why Kronos is better than Methos
| 10. | Kronos is not a weenie boy who lives by the premise: 'he who lives and runs away, lives to run another day'. |
| 9. | Kronos has a totally wicked sword, and knows how to use it properly. |
| 8. | Kronos doesn't spend half his life drinking beer. |
| 7. | Kronos is the end of time. |
| 6. | Kronos knows that where a cute ass is concerned, you're supposed to have one, not be one! |
| 5. | Methos is a scholar, Kronos is a man of ACTION! |
| 4. | Kronos has a really cool scar!!! |
| 3. | Kronos was originally a titan in Greek mythology who ate all his children and was the father of Zeus, king of the gods. Methos was originally Epimethius (an afterthought) who, liking lots of wives, married the first mortal woman he could find anywhere (Pandora) and let her open a boxful of trouble. Kronos would have just taken her head. |
| 2. | If you please Kronos he might NOT give you to Caspian. If you please Methos he'll helpfully stab himself in the hand whilst you're being raped! |
| And the number one reason why Kronos is better than Methos is: | |
| 1. | Kronos wears tight black leather, whilst Methos wears grotty brown sweaters that are too big for him. |
Fun Games in the Horsemen's Camp
- Hide and Go Sack
- Flipping a slave to see whether to rape or pillage at the next village. Heads they pillage; tails they rape.
- Stake-out - staking a prisoner to the sand and placing bets to see how long it will take for their skin to burn.
- Hunt the Slave...let 'em go and give them about a 3 minute head start.
- Wheel of Fortune- a wheel, a slave, treasure and 4 bloodlusty killers.
- Tug-of-Whore - ripping good fun!
- Ring Around Caspian- a homicidal psychopath, weapons and slaves, use your imagination
- Knife throwing contests with Silas as the target
- The four slit their wrists, then take bets on who will be the last to 'die.'
- Follow and obey the leader.
- Blind Mans Bluff - Cut out the eyes of one captive. Place near cliff. Take bets on how long it will take him to wander off the side.
- Spin the Flail at the Donkey - Pretty much what it sounds like.
Acme List of Ways That Even METHOS Can Take Dunkie's Head:
- Get a large poster of Richie, cut it in half and wave it at the Highlander, asking: "What does this remind you of?!" Whilst he is wailing and gnashing his teeth over his big dumb mistake take his head.
- Cook him a haggis to remind him of home. Mix in some sleeping powder, and whilst he's out cold, chop his head off!
- Tell him you're really a woman. Whilst his brow knots in confusion, take his head!
- Find a beautiful immortal woman Dunkie hasn't slept with yet (yeah, okay, this might be difficult!), wait for him to go into auto-seduction mode. Whilst he's thus somewhat distracted, it's headless Highlander time!!
- Take him on a trip to the local abbatoir to see how meat is really produced. Get ready to shove at the crucial moment...
- Ask him to help with your French Revolution reconstruction... he can stand in for Marie Antoinette...
- Send him scuba diving in a very shallow lake while you cruise round in a motor boat...
- Take him on a nice train trip to the seaside, wait until you're approaching a convenient tunnel then persuade him to stick his head out of the window to see how much further he has to go...
- Invite him for a fiendly game of golf. Sharpen your golf club beforehand. Swing the club, shout 'Fore' and watch the Kronos-murderer's head roll off into the rough.
(Thanks to Jo Blake, Jenny Shipp and Terri Evans for some of these)